The First Official Meandering Monday: From eyes and ears to poor Twitter grades and leaf peepers

I’ve already been doing this theme, Meandering Monday, on my main blog with post from the previous week from this blog every Monday. But now I’m making it an official theme here each week, in the tradition of Sock Drawer at Mattress Police and Sandwich Fixins at The Magick Sandwich and all the other random thought posts from other random thought posters.

Plus it’ll guarantee you faithful reader(s) will see at least one new post from me per week.

So without further adieu, I bring you:

The First Official Meandering Monday

I started out this morning not feeling funny, but took a notebook with me as I ran errands to town in case the hilarity broke out so I wouldn’t miss a moment of it. As you’ll see, some loarity broke out instead.

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One of the errands I had to run this morning was to get the temples of my eyeglasses tightened. Every once in a while, they go loose and don’t curl around my ears like they are supposed to curl. So I’ll be in the middle of helping a customer at the bookstore and they’ll just fall off or start to fall off– and I probably seem like I’m one of those special needs people.

Not that there’s anything wrong with special needs people. After all, they sell the good hot dogs, Nathan’s, at a hot dog cart they run near the bookstore  (I’m not kidding or making fun here; it’s true).

And I know what you’re thinking, “Well, technically, there is something wrong with special needs people.”,  but you know there’s something wrong with all of us in one way or another, so shut up! Wrong with me: telling my reader(s) to shut up in the middle of a post; great way to get you to (un)subscribe.

So anyway after getting the temples of my glasses tightened so they fit snug around my ears…

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My wife says my ears aren’t even, that one is different than the other. What do you think?

Are they?

I didn’t ask you to say anything about I need a shave or an ear hair trimmer either. Hey, I don’t have Photoshop like some of you, like Jinksy @ Extremely Funny or something. So shut up! (See I told you that’s what wrong with me, well, at least, one of the things besides having ears that don’t match.)

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…and after getting my lenses cleaned, as I walked out of the optician’s, I felt funny, as in lightheaded.

So after I went to the bookstore and meandered around there for an hour or so (on my day off even), then to the library, I got a hot dog with my favorite sandwich fixins (no link this time, one link per post ;) see above): sauerkraut and Gulden’s mustard. Now I feel unfunny again — as you no doubt can tell.

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Thanks to a company called Twitter Grader, you can find out what your Twitter grade is. I have a couple of Twitter accounts — on one, I received a 26 out of 100; the other, a 33 out of 100. I feel like I’m back in calculus my senior year in high school. Thanks. I checked Dooce’s (no link, she gets enough traffic) and she got a 99.9. I think she started the company that does the grading.

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This time of year our town is full of leaf peepers or leafers. Either way, it doesn’t sound like something very nice– and besides driving some traffic to the store where I work, so hey I can’t completely complain– it can be very not nice for those of us who are townies. Ignorant New Yorkers, Canucks (stupid Frenchies) and flatlanders flood our hotels and trump the ignorance that already is here the rest of the year– which is saying a lot when you consider the ignorance already exhibited here:

Um, yeah, that's duct tape to cover a hole in a tree.

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Posted on the new and improved Humor-Blogs.com, where you can vote for this post for free — no membership fee or spam e-mails– and also find other comedy for weirdos.

More things that make you go hmmm…and then WTF?!*@$*!

While driving up a local road recently, I had to do a double-take as I saw the tree in photo above. It looked some kind of grey fungi was growing up the tree. But upon closer inspection…

…I saw that it was what Red Green calls “the handyman’s secret weapon.” Yep, that’s right, folks, duct tape. I had to laugh…only in northcentral Pennsylvania where I live could such a thing happen. I am truly in the land of the Rednecks here. I can hear the discussion between the farmer’s wife and the farmer now:

“Hey, Merle, we need to cover up the hole in that tree. What should we use?”

“Well, Marge, why don’t we use some duct tape?”

“Golly, Merle, that sounds like a right good idear.”

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Also out along the roads near where I live, I saw these signs that just made me shake my head and wonder what is going on in the heads of people in our area (I reckon not much after seeing these signs):

Now don’t get me wrong. I think Sen. Paul is a fine feller, but don’t these people read Paul’s own website where he clearly states that his campaign is over? Oh, I forgot some folks here still think the Internet is a tool of the devil…of course, that’s how Sen. Paul (who, heck,  is even older than John McCain, is that a positive thing? I don’t think so) became so popular to begin with, ironically, through Al Gore’s creation. D’oh. I had Libertarian friends sending me links more than a year ago to YouTube videos of the man. Anyhoo, on the backside of that gem of a marquee was this further message…

I keep thinking what do people here in northcentral Pennsylvania have to secure their borders from? Now I can understand if you lived in New York State just a mere thirty or forty miles to the north and you wanted to secure your borders from those crazy Pa. teenagers who look like they are 21 from crossing the border to Brownies Mini-Mart, just before the bridge, to get a six-pack of Rolling Rock. Now that right there would be money well-spent: to secure dem dar borders. Or what about them Canucks? Dang. You think we want those Frenchies coming down here and taking over our frog leg dinners? Hell, no.

I’ll leave you with another Ron Paul sign I saw out along the road, just because I thought it was funny where it was placed. Of course, it wasn’t as funny as the one on the side of a trailer, but I forgot to get that one on the way back from getting the photo of the duct taped tree.